Bleeding4Metal Forum
Zombies => Metal & Talk (english) => Thema gestartet von: dorian jane am April 04, 2005, 05:01:13 Nachmittag
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I thought of putting these last night,after reading that some people in this site don't laugh anymore...I tried for the translation from Greek to be as accurate as possible.
I hope you'll find them amusing...
ETERNAL WONDERS
1.Why is that though the sun makes our hair lighten, it darkens our skin?
2.Why women cannot put mascara on with their mouth closed?
3.Why isn't there any catfood with mouse flavour?
4.Why didn't Noah kill the couple of mosquitos?
5.Why don't they make airplanes from the material that black boxes are made?
6.Why do lockers at police stations have locks?
7.What's the purpose of the hole on doughnuts?
8.Sinse Man comes from the Apes, why do Apes still exist?
9.How proud is Superman for his underware to be wearing them over his pants?
10.Since swimming gives a great figure, how do they explain whales?
ETERNAL WONDERS (& THEIR ANSWERS)
1.Why is it hard for a woman to find a man who's sensitive,interested and handsome?
-Cause all these men have already have a boyfriend.
2.What's the difference between a wife and a lover?
-45 kilos (90 pounds).
3.What's the difference between a husband and a lover?
-45 minutes.
4.What's the shortest way to a man's heart?
-A knife through his chest.
5.What's the thing that makes men chase women who they have no intention of marrying?
-The same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
6.How do you know when yr life sucks?
-When a nymphomaniac tells you "we should better be friends"
7.Why did God create Alcohol?
-For ugly people to have sex.
8.Which is the position in sex that makes the ugliest kids?
-You should ask your -x- husband's mother.
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1.Why is that though the sun makes our hair lighten, it darkens our skin?
The sun destroys the pigments in our hair.
It also will destroy the individual cells in our skin, the pigments are formed in them to protect the cell-cores. Thus, our skin darkens.
2.Why women cannot put mascara on with their mouth closed?
Can women do anything with their mouth closed?
:)
3.Why isn't there any catfood with mouse flavour?
Cats don't like the taste of mice. They just play with them and train their instincts by hunting and killing them.
4.Why didn't Noah kill the couple of mosquitos?
The bible is *fiction*, after all.
:)
5.Why don't they make airplanes from the material that black boxes are made?
The material is the same, just the form and size are different. I have never seen a square box fly. Ok, apart from SF movies.
:)
6.Why do lockers at police stations have locks?
Because they are the most criminal lot!
:)
7.What's the purpose of the hole on doughnuts?
Rent "American Pie" to find out.
:)
8.Sinse Man comes from the Apes, why do Apes still exist?
There must be *some* inteligent live on this planet, right?
:)
9.How proud is Superman for his underware to be wearing them over his pants?
No commet. Absolutely no comment....
10.Since swimming gives a great figure, how do they explain whales?
At least they don't sing in operas.
:)
Greetz,
Tex
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7.What's the purpose of the hole on doughnuts?
Rent "American Pie" to find out.
:)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Yeah well, that movie explains a lot of things :D
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Cats don't like the taste of mice. They just play with them and train their instincts by hunting and killing them.
Well you see, in fact they do.But since they are just pets and live in appartments they don't feed with mice. You should see how cats gobble up mice at my father's village. I think they find mice absolutely delicious...
Nice comments...especially the one regarding Superman. :)
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There was a discussion a while back about the...ah...German sense of ...ah...humor...? :lol:
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2.Why women cannot put mascara on with their mouth closed?
Can women do anything with their mouth closed?
:)
Not if you want it to be enjoyable :twisted:
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There was a discussion a while back about the...ah...German sense of ...ah...humor...? :lol:
Hm, Germans have no humour, you know.
:)
Greetz,
Tex
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Well yeah , German sense of humor yeah ,
i know they don't, i met many of them when i visited Germany back in 1988...
I don't mind though , i know others do :wink: The questions are not meant to be anwered... see? 8)
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[/quote]Not if you want it to be enjoyable
:wink: Girl you just spoke the words!!!
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Well yeah , German sense of humor yeah ,
i know they don't, i met many of them when i visited Germany back in 1988..
Correction to myself. Germans do have a sense of humor, it's just a different kind. As a matter of fact, something funny to some people, makes no sense to others. Humor is just a matter of different cultures and temperaments.
I had no intention of offending anyone and i'm sorry if i did..
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Correction to myself. Germans do have a sense of humor, it's just a different kind. As a matter of fact, something funny to some people, makes no sense to others. Humor is just a matter of different cultures and temperaments.
I had no intention of offending anyone and i'm sorry if i did..
As I share your impression of the german sense of humor (I'm a great example for it), I didn't take any offense. And I wouldn't be too worried about that. I guess, we're quite famous for our sense of "humor" - though I do think it's kinda stereotype.
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Comforting words indeed ,AoP..
I agree with you regarding the stereotype thing. That's why stereotypes need to be considered differently.People need to see things from different points of view and not just their own.That's what understanding is all about i guess. Even if it just involves humor..
Talking about humor..what do you think of that one?:
There's a Greek, a German and a Russian in a bar, drinking. They get acquainted after a while.
The Greek orders a beer, the German orders two beers and the Russian orders three beers.
Then the Greek orders a glass of ouzo, the German orders two glasses of ouzo and the Russian orders three glasses of ouzo.
They start getting drunk and having a good time.
The Greek orders a shot of vodka, the German orders a double vodka and the Russian orders a triple vodka.
By now they have become so drunk that they decide to get their dicks out and put them on the table.
The Greek says: Guys, meet John.
The German says: Guys, meet Bill.
The Russian takes out 10 dicks and 30 testicles and says:
Guys, meet Chernobil.
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I prefer this one:
A Greek, a Russian and a German meet in a bar and decide to have a drink. The Greek orders a Greek beer, the Russian orders a Russian beer and the German orders a coke.
The Greek and Russian ask: "What is wrong with you?"
And the German answers: "If you're not drinking beer, neither won't I."
Greetz,
Tex
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I prefer this one:
A Greek, a Russian and a German meet in a bar and decide to have a drink. The Greek orders a Greek beer, the Russian orders a Russian beer and the German orders a coke.
The Greek and Russian ask: "What is wrong with you?"
And the German answers: "If you're not drinking beer, neither won't I."
Greetz,
Tex
:lol: :lol: :lol: Now -that- is a fantastic joke.
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I prefer this one:
A Greek, a Russian and a German meet in a bar and decide to have a drink. The Greek orders a Greek beer, the Russian orders a Russian beer and the German orders a coke.
The Greek and Russian ask: "What is wrong with you?"
And the German answers: "If you're not drinking beer, neither won't I."
Greetz,
Tex
:lol: :lol: :lol: Now -that- is a fantastic joke.
Indeed !! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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(While downloading the final 30MB of the B4MTV2.. gasjkhgflakhsmmmffff)........................
..here's another one -published in fact some time ago by the European Community's official newspaper-:
The E.C. decided to have their own spaceships made for outerspace quests .So after having their first spaceship built, started searching for the first E.C. astronaut by placing an ad to all European newspapers.
The first who answered the ad was English.
After having covered all issues concerning the space trip, the European committee asked the Englishman about the amount of money he'd require for the mission.
The Englishman said he required 1.000.000 E.
-Why? asked the members of the committee.
-Because in case something bad happens to me, i wish my family to be compensated.
The second answering the ad was French.
Again, after having covered all issues, the European committee asked the Frenchman about the amount of money he'd require for the mission.
The Frenchman said he required 2.000.000 E.
-Why? asked the members of the committee,upset by the uprising amount of money.
-Because just in case something bad happens to me, i wish an 1.000.000 E compensation for my family and an 1.000.000 E compensation for my mistress.
The third and last to answer the ad, was Greek.
And again, after having all issues covered, the discussion concluded to the amount of money the Greek required for the mission.
The Greek said he required 3.000.000 E
The committee was left dumfounded.
-But why? they finally asked.
-Well guys, listen - said the Greek - 1.000.000 E for you (the committee), 1.000.000 E for me, and 1.000.000 E for the Englishman to go.
(Each month the above mentioned newspaper publishes a joke refering to European stereotypes.)