seems like family illness and deaths are following from one member to the other here..
just got off the phone with my father tonight and got news that I thought I would never hear..
you know growing up I always thought that my father was like invinsable. I always thought that no matter what he would always be there.. well when he called me tonight and told me that his heart is week and he is dying I got a hard hit of reality I ahve never had before. I've been gone for almost 5 years from home and thought that I would never again see the place.. I havent spent any time with who I call "super man". how do you deal with this knowing it is the truth? I mean the doctors are trying to do what they can but between that and his high blood pressure and his diabeties they arent giving him much a chance nor time...
normally when I hear from my dad he is full of fire. full of life.. but tonight when I heard his voice I could tell he was tired. like the flame is dying and that for once in my life has scared me.. even more then when I was in alaska in the hospital there due to heart problems. I dont deal with death very well, and to hear that the man that i have always called super man is going to die is like a bad dream.. what do you do??? he's young, only 53.. supposed to still be strong.. supposed to be there to see his grandchildren grow... why is he dying?
so I will be taking some time off the boards for a while.. I am in preperations to head back to washington state to be with my father... and to mend our problems and close the door to our past so that we can move on in the future.. even if it is only a day, it will be enough to know that I can let my father go...
Im going to miss you all very much so, I dont know when I will be back online because I will be with him as much as possible... I hopefully will be able to check in from time to time.. so I guess for thoughs who will not be around when I am able to return, take care and may life be full of plesent suprises and wishes to come true.. to Nat and the rest of the crew here at B4M I hope this server will still be here when I get back... To Dimitris (and please make sure he sees this Nat and Basti) I love you bro.. I hope you come back alive and well after the army.. may God Bless you for ever bro.. your hands on a guitar are something special and you need to follow that again... and to the rest of you I hope to see again. I hope to find doing well, and I hope will stay true...
going to miss you all very very much.. take care and God Bless each and every one of you... well time to go now.. i have alot to do to ready myself for tomorrows long trip back home.. I promise to try to check in from time to time..... love you all....
