monthly check in guys and gals!!!!

[dorian jane]

Hey Metalmaiden , good to hear from you again  :D

[Metalmaiden]

no time for myself - and also only little time with Sunshine. :(

I have to say that my husband has been the most understanding partner in the whole world! This summer I was never home before 8. I haven't made dinner for him in months. The house is a disaster and the laudry piled up. Even our weekends  often entaiiled my working at least pert of the time. But I never heard a word of diaappointment or upset from him. He would take me out to dinner, clean the house up and massage my tired  stressed out back and shoulders.

The silver lining was overtime that paid for  vacation and  a promotion and raise due to my handling of  my department  during the conversion!  :D

[Odin]

Nice. And without a second of hesitation I'd do the same, if I only had the chance. But well, for the weeks and months to come we will mostly only meet in the office or on the weekend... :(

[AngelOfMusic]

I recently found out that statistically, if a person isn't married by 25, their chances of getting married are very low.  ...I'm going to be alone forever!!!  *collapse*

[Prab]

Hm... I don't like that statistic

[TexJoachim]

I recently found out that statistically, if a person isn't married by 25, their chances of getting married are very low.

I'm definitely older than 25.
And I married last month.


Greetz,

Tex

[AngelOfMusic]

I recently found out that statistically, if a person isn't married by 25, their chances of getting married are very low.

I'm definitely older than 25.
And I married last month.


Greetz,

Tex

My mom was 26 when she got married.  But I'm not my mom!  I have this fear of being alone forever, you see...

@prab: I don't like it either!  But I sure as heck am going to try to not be part of that statistic!

[dorian jane]

Hm... I don't like that statistic

  Oh my sweet Prabhin, come to Hellas, i'll have you married before you can count to three  :wink: According to statistics concerning my country, there's a 500.000 surplus in women.How about that ha??  :wink:  :wink:

[Odin]

DJ and Prab! So when and where's the party!?  :D

For the stats... well... My chances are at least extremely high to not meet the essence of this one, but get married anyway.

[Souleraser]

Just curious: Why should anyone be worried about not getting married? With a divorce rate steadily increasing above 50% and that certificate of marriage not being a guarantee, I'll definitely be prefering a stable and satisfied relationship without being married.

Just my point of view of course, don't mean to offend anyone. I just think that this certain kind of statistics is quite irritating.

[AngelOfMusic]

Just curious: Why should anyone be worried about not getting married? With a divorce rate steadily increasing above 50% and that certificate of marriage not being a guarantee, I'll definitely be prefering a stable and satisfied relationship without being married.

Just my point of view of course, don't mean to offend anyone. I just think that this certain kind of statistics is quite irritating.

That's my very next concern, AoP.  I'm incredibly picky in who I date.  Unfortunately, my choices in men are terrible.  So now I second guess myself CONSTANTLY.  I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be in a bad marriage.

[Souleraser]

I am very, very picky, too, and according to certain research on that topic this is one of the main problems. Everyday we're confronted with an ideal of how a person should be: What they should look like (models, actors and actresses, musicians etc.) and what they should behave like (a character from a TV show for example). Sad fact: Most people can't live up to these "standards" and expectations - at least not all the time, 24/7 365 days a year. Plus: Most of us prefer their freedom over making compromises and concessions which are required for most relationships to work.

All this is of course part of the explanation why so many marriages end up in a divorce and it is part of the explanation why so many of us are likely to remain single for major parts of their life - at least as long one thinks in the common terms of "single" and "relationship".

Phew, sorry, once again I seem unable to focus and express my thoughts. I beg pardon and hope I made myself clear nevertheless.

[The Metal RN]

That is a great point AoP, and one I do not think people take into account.  There are expectations and "perfect views" that individuals place on one another. Then when they have been together for a time, the awe starts to fade. Partly I think this is because, well you know, SH*T happens. Now the couples perfect little world has some thing that they need to get through. Viewpoints are different, Arguments can arise,  people have different perspectives and solutions. What they need to do now is communicate with one another. Find out  what the other is thinking, what are their ideas, where are they coming from, what do they see as the issue. Now TOGETHER they can work to get through what ever it is that they need to.

People find it astounding that my wife and I have yet to have a fight, even be angry with one another. We have excellent communication and both like to deal with things in a similar manner. It is the best thing that I have ever experienced in my life. That is not to say that we agree on everything, She is more liberal and I tend to be conseravtive on a lot of things, but we talk about it. We balance one another and we have gained tremendous trust in one another. We don't always have to do it my way. I know that she wants what is best for us and maybe that her idea is better than mine. We try it, if it fails then we try another way. No berating, no "I told you so". and vice versa.This is an eternal partnership, and you are only as strong as the bond between you is strong.

[AngelOfMusic]

I'm reasonably sure that in my romantic life I've been willing to compromise with the people I've dated.  But like I said, I have a bad track record.  My first boyfriend was emotionally abusive (he's not that way NOW, and he treats his current girlfriend really well. ) the second guy I dated wasn't an alcoholic, but he did have some alcohol abuse problems.  The LAST guy I dated WAS an alcoholic, was emotionally neglectful, was highly selfish, smoked like a chimney, and just wasn't at all good for me.  Something he realized and admitted reasonably quickly - so he broke up with me.  

I still think sometimes that if I'd done things differently he wouldn't have dumped me, but logically I know that's not the case.  Even his friends keep telling me that it wasn't anything I did.  I suppose if they hadn't been around to let me know that I wasn't to blame, I might still be blaming myself.

So now when I meet a guy that I like, I think "Will he be there emotionally if I need him?  Does he have a good handle on what he wants out of life?  Is he taking the necissary steps to achieve his goals?  Do our personalities blend well?" amongst other questions.  But then, when I answer yes to any of those questeions, I have to ask myself if this is really the case, or if I just WANT it to be the case.  And I think I might second guess myself too much and miss out, you know?

When I was 21 I was happy being single for a few months (until my last boyfriend, really.)  When I figure out just how I got to that point, I should be able to get there again.  But I just don't know how the heck I got myself to the point where I was happy with single life.


Wow...I just rambled on quite a bit... :shock:

[Prab]

I agree with you guys. Really, I do! Each one of you's got a full load of good comments and experiences I'd like to start chatting about.

BUT this topic here.... relationships... girlfriend.....  I don't know how to put it... erm...
okay, I was close to write a long thread about what was going here and what i was going through, a few weeks (or months?) ago. But I didn't cause I figured I need to get my stuff together first. I didn't want to ramble about "oh how poor I am" and what not, cause I ain't!

To put a long and soap opera like story short: I am a single guy since the 5th of July. There have been some "struggles" with my (now) exgirlfriend after we split up (no one dumbed the other, we did that amicably... at least I thought so, but that's another story) and all the BULLSHIT was boiling on very high temperature around the end of September/begin of Ocotober.

Right now everything is solved. For the worse. But still kinda solved.
I'm learning a new lesson in life. I'm learning to let go, to let the past behind.

Okay... I realize, I've rambled without noticing it.
So I'll stop right HERE.

Carry on the discussion guys, never mind!